I cant wake up

I feel as though i am sinking into nothingness. because i cant wake up from this wonderland. im not sure what to do anymore and im not sure who i am.. who i wanna be, back to high school yay.. but im not sure what to do.. im afraid to socialize. but i love to talk. im afrid to write but writing is my passion and im afraid to let my self love. after him... them. those hurtful people. and im afraid to fess up to what they did... it might break me.